Murphy's Law: Even the best laid out Plans Can Unravel

Our bucket list involved starting the kids on travel this year. Our firstborn started early, she was able to accompany me on some trip with my sister (her aunt) when she was younger, but for our "bunso", 2015 is the start of his out of town trips.

We timed it perfectly - as soon as their dad's plane flew in from abroad, our plan was to hop terminals and then fly out the same date. This will help maximize the short vacation my husband had, and will also optimize the leave that I filed with my company.

But God it appears, have other plans. What we anticipated to be a 1-2 hrs waiting time for my hubby was on target. He came out of the terminal a little before an hour after the initial declared ETA. We already have our friend commissioned to drive us from one airport to the next so there were no issues with getting transportation. At the same time, my mom was there because she was going home with the rest of my husband's baggage, his backpack for our out of town trip was already prepared (so I badgered him from across the distance to do this - remember, me the "planner"?).

Off the Pan and into the fire

So off we went -- and into the heavy traffic. Let me advise a disclaimer here, this trip was not made for the holidays, it was sometime in June of this year. It just happened that I was not able to consider the infrastructure or construction that was going on in the area. In a bid to make airport experience more convenient, our government is pushing for the creation of additional roads that will be devoted to servicing the airports (yey!), but that is another topic, let me move on.

Anyway, we were still able to arrive at the airport after around 4 hours, but this time, we had a delay with the actual flight out. The Air Asia reception desk was very good however, and wisely suggested that we move our booking to an earlier flight (since we were there already), since all the flight outs have been delayed anyway. This move to another flight was for free and hassle-free. After this, we just sat and waited for our plane and time to depart. 

Other family members may have been screaming blue murder at this time, but guess what? Me and my family have the grandest time ever. Even with all the waiting and the heavy traffic that we experienced, these were opportunities for us to spend time TOGETHER and BOND as a unit again.

I guess we all make adjustments. Mine is a simple family, and my husband is an OFW (Overseas Foreign Worker). In order for our set up to work, we have to compromise on so many things. Internet, and travel makes it easier, but some concerns like logistics in this case can be a peeve -- don't let it be one. Look for the quirks. Find your silver lining in every situation that may not work out as you have planned it to.

And oh, that trip? That is a separate blog post to follow...

On Spelling Names

I used to teach, and tutor, but teaching my kid to learn how to write and read is a bit perplexing. At times I worry that I am not doing enough. But the laid back mommy part of me always tells me, relax, things will work out fine.

Since pre-school started, I was able to be with her classmates' parents and though I have not become an active mom in discussions, I was able to learn from the meetings that some of the kids in their class already attended nursery and was able to read and write the alphabet, and words already.

As a mom, I must admit that this gave birth to some feelings of anxiety and frustration - were we (my husband and I), wrong in not pushing our baby to attend nursery after her playschool days? Are we in fact, shortchanging her because we believe that play would be beneficial to her?

Good thing though that I was never one to wallow in self pity and doubt forever - I did what I could to create a makeshift board at home. I remembered that aunt mommy gave the kids some non toxic chalk and I felt it was time to make good use of them.

I converted our plastic, IKEA multipurpose drawers into makeshift black board  and proceeded to fill it up with the alphabet and basic 1 - 10 numbers. My goal is to help familiarize my kid with the letters, so that she will not find it hard to work with letters in class.

Three weeks later - I feel so happy because our efforts were not in vain. Now she can  identify the letters as well as sing them, and she's getting better at writing all the time.

I am looking forward to teaching her to discover words, and sentences and paragraphs! Words and books have always been my special escape  - and I know it can be hers too.

Post-October 2012

Last October, my babies both turned 4 and 3 respectively. Their birthdays marked another year of renewed learning, and countless fun discoveries every day.

Compared to their younger days, they are now more interactive; and can follow most directions with unerring accuracy (of course, during the times they don't - it's usually a combination of not understanding the instruction, as well as not wanting to follow. Actually).

My husband and I, together with the rest of our family all have special moments that are truly unforgettable - be it as simple as receiving a hug, a kiss and an "I love you" from our babies, to bigger events like receiving crumpled flower petals as "pasalubong" when they get back from their walk at the park.

It feels so exciting thinking about the days to come. Amidst the daily grind of meeting deadlines for reports, and dealing with the different characters at work, going home to two adorable darlings at the end of the day is definitely a breath of fresh air.

Now, if I can just speed up the time a wee bit....

I am a Slow Learner and proud of it

Can you actually believe it? 

It is actually very ironic when I realize that I have spent practically more than a year being a stay-at-home mom, and then realize at the same time that most of the stuff that are supposed to be part of being "motherly wisdom" was formed the past months only.

Seriously. Was I wasting my time (or having a fun time of it, you might ask?)

I guess I am, what sir Francis Kong would refer to as a "slow learner" in his book (DUH?!! Why do intelligent people Develop Unhealthy Habits? How to get out of it and WIN!). When it comes to being a hands on parent, there were some aspects of being a stay at home mom that I never got to understand and appreciate until recently, after I have started my planning to be an active part of the privately employed sector once again. But just as Francis Kong said it, "...I am a slow learner because I want to internalize everything I learn. I want what I learn to become a part of me."

Now, I realize that moms really do wake up at dawn, and prepare stuff for their husbands and kids. I optimize my time and ensure that my babies' change of clothes are immediately washed after they take them off. I have stringently scheduled a bath time and set a routine for the nanny to follow so that when I am at work, I will be assured that my babies are getting cleaned the way I expect them to be cleaned.

I have even immersed my kids in a regular 5 minute reading time so that their love of reading will be nurtured as they grow older. Watching television is strictly monitored and limited and instead, I encourage them to be more active in playing and moving around, dancing and singing so that healthier and a more active lifestyle is introduced to them while they are still young.

Two days ago, my three year old daughter saw me set the table, and went to the utensils cabby and got the spoons and forks. Now when it is time for a meal, she is the one setting the utensils beside everybody's plate. And she is great at it too.

My two year old son knows when it is time to take his vitamins. He knows well enough where to get the vitamins and spoon, and he brings both over to me as he waits for me to give him and his sister their dosage for the day. My husband and I taught them the value of thinking for themselves, so that they can develop comprehension about the world early on their own.

All in all, I feel happy at all the learning - things not only my kids have and are learning, but those that me and my husband are picking up along the way. There is still much ground to cover but I am just so happy to get the chance to be able to learn this way. I am not recommending that everyone take a sabbatical like I did in order to be a better parent (which I believe I have become), but in my case, it really worked.

Keeping up with Babies and their Techie learning

Have you noticed that the days seem to be so much shorter these days? Or is it just that my little terrors are just growing up so fast?

Barely a month past my last post, and my kids have learned so much in that time - my baby girl can now sing along to almost all the songs in her baby CD and use my iphone with great dexterity, while my little boy has become so keen on different cars and their makes.

Today, every ride in the car is a learning/teaching trip, with the two babies trying to outdo one another in raising my hair and stress level to the very top! I am not sure if the concept of "behaving" is too difficult to grasp for the babies of this generation - or my little ones are just exceptionally intelligent and naughty.

Sometimes I fear that I am missing on moments - and that's from someone who never gets out of the house without one form of camera to snap pictures with. The growth spurt is just so fast, and I pray, and wish that I have captured as much representation as I can on digital data.

Today, both my babies can use touchscreen phones and navigate YouTube seamlessly, the only thing limiting them is their inability to write and spell words. Baby girl would come up to me and say, "Mommy hello kitty please" or "Barbie" - simple instructions to search for those baby friendly videos she loves to watch. When before she was satisfied with Dora's adventures, now she wants to learn and see baby cooking videos and styling tips. And my son? He used to sleep the day away, but now he's in a constant tug of war with ate to see who will get the chance to use mom's iphone (of course, so far he's always losing out).

Funny but when previous generations had wooden toys and baby bears to entertain the kids, the generation now is just into visual and advanced stuff. I better learn more and ASAP about this internet parental control - or there just may be more things to raise my hair on end by next post.

Minsan lang kita mamahalin...

Two days ago, my family was relaxing inside the bedroom, I was using my netbook, my husband was playing with his PSP and the two kids were playing when suddenly, a very feminine and melodious voice sang out: " Minsan lang kita mamahalin..."

I looked around at my husband who was smiling at me. With his head he indicated our eldest daughter who was lying on the bed. To both our surprise and delight, it was she who came out with that piece of Tagalog song.

Over the day, she would come out with that line. Later before sleeping I asked her where she learned it and she shyly told me that she heard the song from her nannny's cellphone music library (it was my nanny's practice to turn on the cp music while cleaning up and arranging the room with the kids).

Right now I am thinking what next song to teach my baby girl - I just love it that she is slowly starting to grasp new and more complex concepts and tasks and is slowly coming into her own.

Time does Fly ! (And Sometimes I Just Hate It)

It has been more than two months since I last wrote an entry here. The past weeks and days have been filled with so many activities and adjustments and I feel like I have not slept a wink at all.

How time flies! And I am even more alarmed when I see the many changes that have transpired in my children. "Ate" has indeed grown up. I can see the comprehension in her eyes whenever we speak to her. She knows when she has done wrong and makes effort to butter it up to mommy and daddy.

My little one is also quickly following up. He is now more mobile and interactive with the things, people and activities that are happening around him. When once he used to just gaze directly at me, now he claps his hands in glee, or cries when he thinks that he is being left alone.

Much as I revel in these achievements, I feel fear creep in when I think of the time that has passed. Soon school will start, and the little ones will learn about people and things that are beyond the little group that includes mommy and daddy. And I fear that other people will become the apples of their eyes - and we will no longer bear the spotlight of their attention.

But there are so many things to celebrate now, and I must focus on them instead of feeling sad. Time does fly yes, but I am here with my family now, and I am not going anywhere soon.

Status: Enjoying the peace and quiet with my babies and husband.
Crossing Oceans

"dias"

Just a while ago, my daughter learned her first Spanish word. After numerous instances of watching Dora and her Explorer adventures, she has finally learned how to say "morning" in Spanish. My daughter and son both love watching Dora, as well as listening to the many songs that is included with the show.

I think one of the best investments my husband and I has ever made was to buy a Dora video. Based on my observations, the music, the colors and the cute characters are slowly helping them build their perception of the world, as well as their vocabulary. Of course, we are very careful in exposing them to too much video. I have read up a lot of material that says that videos and related media are not truly beneficial to shaping a child's growth and learning. Though I am not such an expert, what I do is listen to my inner voice.

I am a firm believer of shaping someone based on the characteristics and traits that person show, and it is no different with my children. As early as now, both of them display streaks of individualism and show traits that are completely different from one another. They often clash, because they are still so young and so near in age, but in good moments, you can already see the close bonding and love these two babies have for one another.

I try to be careful and give them proper care and space to grow their individual strengths. My husband and I mix discipline and gentle care to remind them when they are doing something wrong or hurting one another. And not leaving everything to Dora, we explain bits and pieces of the story to them.

When the song says "share, share, share", I explain to them that this means that they should share their toys with one another and not be mad when one happens to borrow the other's favorite toy. Of course, the reality is far from perfect. More often I would her my daughter say no than give her toy to Nan, but they are getting there.

I am excited to see what next Spanish word K will say. After all it is not everyday that I hear her speak words in three languages - umaga, morning and dias.

Kukuk becomes Chicken

As a working mom, the toughest thing I face is not the criticisms and reactions of colleagues and bosses at work, but the face of my daughter that I see in the side view mirror every morning before we drive off to work.

For me, becoming a working mom was not even a conscious choice. It was something that simply developed out of habit. After all, before I got married, I was already working so it just seemed a natural progression of things for me to continue on after giving birth.

Lately though, I have to struggle and force myself to move to the door every morning when we say goodbye to the kids. Looking at their woebegone expressions, especially in our eldest' eyes who is starting to comprehend the way things work, is completely heartbreaking.

I have to keep on reminding myself that there is another reason why I must work, so that I can, together with my husband, support our family and have the funds to give our children the kind of future every loving parents want -- secure, well balanced and happy.

I have to remind myself that there are other opportunities for me to spend with them, but when work claims the weekends, I feel a clutch in my heart. Because in my heart and mind, weekends are for my babies, and it is as much as I can do it - a non-negotiable thing.

There are a lot of advantages to becoming a working mom. But when I go home and realize that my daughter's Kukuk has progressed to "Chicken", I often wish I could have stayed home and see it happen.

Mommy times two!

There is nothing tougher I have yet to face than being a mother. When I had my first baby, I was completely 100% enamored. Of every scent, every little gesture. I was truly in love with all associated with that tiny being who happened to come from me. As time went by, she grew into a cuddly and naughty baby who loves hugging and playing games with her dad and grandpa - her greatest admirers in the whole wide world.

My husband and I have decided early on that we wanted to have another baby before our eldest was too old to get to play with him or her, but we were truly surprised and pleased when we learned that we were expecting, again. Unlike my first pregnancy, my second one went fairly well. I was able to eat the food I wanted to eat, and I did not need bed rest. Also I was able to go to work until two weeks before my scheduled operation.

When my second baby was born, we learned that he was suffering from pneumonia - it could have only come from me but we could not remember an instance that I was down with flu or even colds. But it was a time coincident with AH1N1 fever and the like and we believed that the virus I had imbibed was passed on to our baby who was then inside my tummy. It was a relatively easy pregnancy but after the birth, the days spent waiting, watching from the window of NICU, speaking to him through the incubator walls and seeing him intubated, with a dextrose attached to his umbilical cord was heartbreaking. Even when we went home, we were at the hospital twice daily, without fail. My husband and even our baby girl would go to the hospital and view our Nan from the window.

We were simply the happiest parents when our little boy pulled through and we brought him home with us. The initial adjustment was hard, my daughter still a little baby herself was confused that mommy's attention was no longer on her 24/7. Although already weaned from the breast, she had bouts of tearful tantrums because of this.

But after a while things settled down. We all established a routine and built a strong network of support. Little by little, day by day, we made it.

I am thankful for all the blessings we received especially my family and friends.